A Visit to Truman

So, the weekend before Spring Break, Megan urged me to visit her at Truman sometime. "Well, I think I'm free the weekend of the 4th..." Thus, this past weekend.

Thursday, April 2nd:
-Bailed on Manhattan, headed for KC
-Chilled out with the family

Friday, April 3rd:
-Got up, got packed up, got on the road
-Couldn't get on I-35 N from KC, too much construction
-GPS and I had a little argument, so I headed towards St. Louis, because that's the way I know
-Headed north at Concordia, via Highway 11, very hilly and country-ish
-Got to Kirksville, MO around 4
-Ironing party in Megan's dorm room with her Tae Kwon Do buddies, they needed crisp uniforms for the belt test the next day
-Dinner with the TKD kids in Ryle (her dorm) dining hall
-The cell phone incident (Ryan, one of the TKD kids, left his phone in her room, we locked him out, battle ensued between girls and guys. Girls defending the phone, guys trying to break in to get it.)
-Musical Night, part 1: Chicago and The Mask of Zorro (After watching Chicago, we all needed more Catherine Zeta-Jones)
-Stayed up talking with Megan about boys, finally got to sleep around 5

Saturday, April 4th:
-Got up around 10:30, got ready
-Had lunch in Ryle hall dining area
-Headed off to the Rec for the Belt Test
-Ran into one of my highschool classmates in the Rec, that was interesting, hadn't seen her since graduation or so
-Watched people go through forms (patterns of movements and kicks), and break boards, also got to see people go head to head in sparring, Megan was awesome
-Went on a campus tour with Megan, Truman is so darn cute!
-Short nap
-Dinner in Ryle
-Headed over to Ryan's apartment for Musical night part 2, watched Little Shop of Horrors
-Made a blanket fort
-Watched RENT, and Sound of Music
-We all ended up crashing there for the night around 5 in the morning

Sunday, April 5th:
-Woke up around 10:30
-Went back to Megan's dorm and got all packed up
-Had lunch and then hit the road
-Weather was crappy, roads were hilly
-Got home around 4:30
-Celebrated my little sister's birthday
-Finally headed towards KSU around 8:30

I am exhausted from such a packed weekend, but it was a blast and a half.

Selfish and Self-Centered

I deal with jealousy, I know it, it's not an easy fix. Comparing myself to others, comparing my self to who I would like to be, it's getting old. I'm so tired of not feeling good enough, and to being stressed out and thinking unkind thoughts just because someone else has what I don't.

I am tired of this.

I should be content with who I am, and not worry about what others think of me, or who they might be comparing me to. I'm so damn tired of having the little doubts that label me as lesser, no good, not worth it. I should be flattered when someone mimics something I do, not worry that they'll steal it and make it their own. I guess I have a fear of that, having attention taken from me, because it's all about me Me ME.

Namely, I need to get over myself. This life = Not about me. Not about what I think or what you think of me.



Why can't I convince myself of that?