I don't watch sad movies. Other people like them, because "sometimes you just need to cry." I don't get that at all. Life is sad enough on it's own, I watch movies and read books for the happily ever after. Real life gets so few happily ever afters, because our lives are so fragile. Our tenuous grasp on life, it can be snatched away at any moment, and by the most seemingly random events.

My heart cries out with sorrow for my friend Nicolle. Her boyfriend Brock was just given a few weeks to live after a hard fight with brain cancer, over the course of which he couldn't recall her name at times. I can't even imagine that. Her strength and faith are a testimony to God's strength and faithfulness.


The fact that I cry harder for other people than for myself, it makes me wonder if I am going to be a better or worse social worker. I tend to become more upset over things that are out of human control, because they just seem so arbitrary and without greater meaning. Social problems, I understand that they are difficult to deal with. But those can be fixed. Terminal cancer... I can't fix that. And so I just cry for the loss of a love, a son, a brother... In the death of a young person, I always think about the mother, and how it would feel to have to say goodbye to your child.

So I'm praying for strength for Nicolle and for Brock's family, his mother in particular, as they prepare themselves. God, only you could be a comfort for them in this.

Alison: is getting poured on.

"When it rains, it pours."

Oh man, I'm just exhausted from getting repeatedly shafted. And then when life goes crazy, I get angry. People get in my way, let me down, leave me out, and I get pissed.

I'm just tired of being angry lately. I can't get my group members for vital-to-my-grade group projects to cooperate. They're sick, their kids are sick, it's a mess, they can't make school a priority like it is for me right now. I need these grades to be good. Because I need them to graduate, and be a social worker, and have a fulfilling career. Basically, by missing class, and not doing work, they're screwing with my future.

So you can see why I've been mad lately.


Oh, but it gets better. My jeep went all to hell last night, and then all to Schram Chrysler/Jeep this morning via tow truck. Never done that before, as Kilroy has always been such a good jeep. Also, they don't have an opening to work on him until Monday.

Awesome, right?


So, plan of action. Breathe. Refrain from hurting others, via words or sharp objects.